Day 3 of fighting sleep:
So far so good. The first several days were not difficult. I drank coffee and that was enough. However, new strategies will be needed as I can feel my body (and mind) going cross-eyed.
Day 7, no sleep:
The nights feel longer. Have started to call people, old friends in the phone, some numbers have changed, got into a long conversation with someone named Patrice, not a friend, was intending to call Tyson from high school, Patrice’s number now, nice enough fellow, asked why I’m fighting sleep, said it’s like a fast, like it’s like a spiritual cleanse, self-care for the mind, told me he moved to new city to be with his girl in California, started baking bread, baguettes, that kind of thing, tell him I’m in Winnipeg, there’s no palm trees in Winnipeg, except on Regent, it’s hot in California he says, computer scientist, can work from anywhere, no drama.
Day 15, awake:
Caffeine pills. Red Bull. More coffee. Modafinil. I feel buzzed. No exercise, no bike rides up Furby, down Langside, can’t have the body go to sleep. Best thing to stay awake: my phone, scrolling socials, blue light always on, screen time, loud music, mindless games. Went outside, the night was miserable, tried to pluck the stars from the sky, wandered the west end, danced on a cop car, the fear kept me awake, fought the sleep for me, I watched myself do it. More phone, the internet never sleeps, I am the internet, I am a piece of my mind, no text, no reading, only stimulants, porn and violence, keeps the blood pumping, never at rest, always something new, something graphic.
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To read the rest of this review — and more by Steve Schmolaris — visit his website Bad Gardening Advice.
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Steve Schmolaris is the founder of the Schmolaris Prize, “the most prestigious prize in all of Manitoba,” which he first awarded in 1977. Each year, he awards the prize to the best album of the year. He does not have a profession but, having come from money (his father, “the Millionaire of East Schmelkirk,” left him his fortune when he died in 1977), Steve is a patron of the arts. Inspired by the exquisite detail of a holotype, the collective intelligence of slime mold, the natural world and the suffering inherent within it — and also music (fuck, he loves music!) — Steve has long been writing reviews of Winnipeg artists’ songs and albums at his website Bad Gardening Advice, leading to the publication of a book of the same name.
