Don’t get me wrong. The White Album is not only my favourite Beatles record; it’s my favourite album, period. But, I’m gonna screw with it anyway. Let’s face it — when you make a stark white, self-titled double album, it’s just screaming out for embellishment.
Before we start, here’s the original track list:
Side 1
Back In The USSR
Dear Prudence
Glass Onion
On-La-DI-Ob-La-Da
Wild Honey Pie
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Happiness Is A Warm Gun
Side 2
Martha My Dear
I’m So Tired
Blackbird
Piggies
Rocky Raccoon
Don’t Pass Me By
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
I Will
Julia
Side 3
Birthday
Yer Blues
Mother Nature’s Son
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
Sexy Sadie
Helter Skelter
Long Long Long
Side 4
Revolution 1
Honey Pie
Savoy Truffle
Cry Baby Cry
Revolution 9
Good Night
For our first re-think, let’s take a suggestion from Ringo Starr, who said it should have been two albums — The White Album and The Whiter Album. I take this to mean, divvying up the songs into two nicely flowing records — released separately like Guns N’ Roses’ Use Your Illusion I & II.
The White Album
Side 1
Back In The USSR
Dear Prudence
On-La-DI-Ob-La-Da
Cry Baby Cry
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Happiness Is A Warm Gun
Don’t Pass Me By
Side 2
Birthday
Martha My Dear
I’m So Tired
Blackbird
Yer Blues
Mother Nature’s Son
Sexy Sadie
Long Long Long
The Whiter Album
Side 1
Revolution 1
Glass Onion
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
Piggies
Wild Honey Pie
Happiness Is A Warm Gun
Helter Skelter
I Will
Julia
Side 2
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
Rocky Raccoon
Savoy Truffle
Honey Pie
Revolution 9
Good Night
Next, we’ll do what producer George Martin suggested — just make one really great record. This involves trying to axe half the record in an effort to keep the best songs, with the usual split of originators kept intact: Paul McCartney and John Lennon each get 35% of the songs, George Harrison gets 20% and Ringo gets 10%.
The Whitest Album
Side 1
Back In The USSR
Dear Prudence
Ob-La-Di-Ob-La-Da
I’m So Tired
While My Guitar Gently Weeps
Martha My Dear
Happiness Is A Warm Gun
Don’t Pass Me By
Side 2
Birthday
Yer Blues
Mother Nature’s Son
Blackbird
Cry Baby Cry
Helter Skelter
Long Long Long
Julia
Here’s the ones on the cutting room floor — which they could give to Badfinger, Jackie Lomax, or save for future revisitation.
The Off White Album
Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?
Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey
Wild Honey Pie
Honey Pie
Revolution 1
Revolution 9
Good Night
Piggies
Savoy Truffle
I Will
Rocky Raccoon
Glass Onion
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill
And, finally, here’s the thing that made me want to do this column in the first place — an entirely different double album. I swapped each song on the 1968 studio album for a corresponding track from their post-Beatles careers. I tried to find one which was of a similar vein.
The Wipe Album
Side 1
Mumbo (From Wild Life for Back In The USSR)
Isolation (From Plastic Ono Band for Dear Prudence)
God (From Plastic Ono Band for Glass Onion)
Listen To What The Man Said (From Venus & Mars for Ob-La-Di-Ob-La-Da)
Check My Machine (From McCartney II for Wild Honey Pie)
Power To The People (1971 single for Bungalow Bill)
Isn’t It A Pity? (From All Things Must Pass for While My Guitar Gently Weeps)
Gimme Some Truth (From Imagine for Happiness Is A Warm Gun)
Side 2
Little Woman Love (Outtake from Ram for Martha My Dear)
How Do You Sleep? (From Imagine for I’m So Tired)
Little Willow (From Flaming Pie for Blackbird)
Blow Away (From George Harrison for Piggies)
The Song We Were Singing (From Flaming Pie for Rocky Raccoon)
It Don’t Come Easy (From Ringo for Don’t Pass Me By)
You Know I’ll Get You (McCartney II outtake for Why Don’t We Do It In The Road?)
Put It There (From Flowers In The Dirt for I Will)
Love (From Plastic Ono Band for Julia)
Side 3
Hey Hey (From Pipes Of Peace for Birthday)
Cold Turkey (1969 single for Yer Blues)
Heart Of The Country (From Ram for Mother Nature’s Son)
Meat City (From Mind Games for Me & My Monkey)
Crippled Inside (From Imagine for Sexy Sadie)
Night Out (Red Rose Speedway outtake for Helter Skelter)
All Things Must Pass (From All Things Must Pass for Long, Long, Long)
Side 4
Instant Karma! (1970 single for Revolution 1)
You Gave Me The Answer (From Venus & Mars for Honey Pie)
Wah-Wah (From All Things Must Pass for Savoy Truffle)
Jealous Guy (From Imagine for Cry Baby Cry)
Million Miles (From Back To The Egg for Can You Take Me Back?)
Mulberry (Outtake from Life With The Lions for Revolution 9)
Dream (From Sentimental Journey for Good Night)
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Area Resident is an Ottawa-based journalist, recording artist, music collector and re-seller. Hear (and buy) his music on Bandcamp, email him HERE, follow him on Instagram and check him out on Discogs.
