Home Read Classic Album Review: Thor | Dogz II

Classic Album Review: Thor | Dogz II

I'd tell you about the Conanistic rocker's comeback set, but he might snap my spine.

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This came out in 2001 – or at least that’s when I got it. Here’s what I said about it back then (with some minor editing):

 


In the pantheon of cheese-metal gods, Thor is indubitably grande fromage.

A bottle-blond, musclebound lunk whose Conanistic act merges feats of strength with subpar metal, Thor had a singular hit in the early ’80s — you may recall Keep the Dogs Away, though I understand if you don’t want to admit it — before vanishing for good. Or so we all thought. Suddenly, he’s back with a new disc, and back on tour. Which leaves me in a quandary. On the one hand, I could say Dogz II is a howler: A dozen slabs of amateurish nu-metal topped by the bombastic vocals of the aging god of blunder, who is now too weak even to carry a tune. On the other hand, I try not to screw with guys who can snap my spine like a toothpick. So on second thought, I’d like to say Dogz II is the most important comeback disc of the year — no, the millennium — if not the best album of all time. Ever. At least, that’s my story. And we’re sticking to it as long as Thor is on the loose.