Hallo everybodee!! We are Scorpions band!! Yes!! Thank you!! And today is guitarist Rudolf Schenker’s 72nd birthday!! It’s true!! He is very much old!! Thank you!! We would have bought him a cake, but the fire department said the candles would be far too hazardous!! We could all perish!! Yes!! So, instead, we are putting up this poster from our 1982 album Blackout!! A few years ago, it was ranked the 73rd greatest metal album of all time!! I don’t really know if that’s good or bad!! Such a mediocre ranking seems arbitrary and thus meaningless in the grand scheme of things!! Thank you!! But a lot of people say it might have been our last great album!! It’s true!! We haven’t really been doing much but treading water for a long time now!! Maybe that’s why some of those same people say we should have stuck to our guns and retired instead of pulling a giant bait-and-switch by promising to go away but then hanging around like some sort of persistent pandemic!! If only there was some sort of persistent pandemic I could think of that would be a fitting analogy!! But I can’t!! No!! Thank you!! Anyway, happy birthday Rudy!! Keep on rockin’ like a hurricay-eene for another 72 years!! Try not to scratch your eyeballs with forks because you didn’t get any cake!! And if you’d like to own this vintage poster, email Tinnitist and make him an offer!! He’d be happy to sell it to a Scorpions fan!! It’s true!! Thank you and goodnight!!
