Seeing as it’s almost Valentine’s Day, I thought I’d do a roundup of some classic love songs that haven’t aged well — and no wonder. Language evolves. Standards get enforced. Suddenly it’s not OK to try and woo 16 and 17-year-olds anymore. At some point the word “lady” became — at best — hilarious, and at worst belittling… to say nothing of “you’re having my baby.”
But even more awkward is when you do a love song for — or even, with — someone who ended up not being “the one.” This is why you should take a page from the Book Of Cocker, and only do duets with someone who isn’t your partner. Let’s dive in…
My Favorite Part | Mac Miller & Ariana Grande
The late Mac Miller and Ariana Grande dated for two years. Grande can be heard on the opening to Miller’s 2016 album The Divine Feminine, as well as dueting with him on My Favorite Part. The opening track on Side 2, Cinderella, was inspired by her. The pair split in May 2018, and by June she was engaged to comedian Pete Davidson. Miller died of an accidental drug overdose three months later, leading Grande and Davidson to call off their engagement, and a month later they broke up.
You’re Still The One | Shania Twain
Shania Twain and then-husband/producer Mutt Lange wrote this 1998 hit together. They met in June ’93 and were married just after Christmas that year. A decade after this song was a hit, the pair separated, due to Lange’s affair with one of Twain’s friends.
You’ve Really Got A Hold On Me | Gregg Allman & Cher
From the 1977 album Two The Hard Way, bizarrely credited to Allman and Woman. Cher was wife No. 3 of seven for Allman, who married her in 1975, four days after she finalized her divorce from Sonny Bono. She and Allman split up while on a brief European tour to promote this record. They fought so much that Cher cancelled the tour, went back to America and hooked up with Gene Simmons for two years.
I Got You Babe | Sonny & Cher
One of the all-time great couple songs, and one the pair sang weekly on TV for many years. Sonny & Cher’s union started crumbling in 1972 and they’d split by 1974 — even though Sonny & Cher action figures were still being sold in 1975 when Cher had already remarried. Still, it’s hard not to feel smooshie when I re-watch their appearance on Late Night with David Letterman in 1987, when Dave convinced them to siong their famous duet for the first time in more than a decade — and what turned out to be the last time.
Kotton Krown | Sonic Youth
Sonic Youth bassist/vocalist Kim Gordon and guitarist/vocalist Thurston Moore got married in 1984. Moore wrote I Love Her All The Time, from 1985’s Bad Moon Rising, for her. But in 1987 they did something they apparently only ever managed once — shared vocal duties on the same song. Kotton Krown comes from 1987’s Sister and is a suitably drone-fuzz declaration of a love that has “come to stay forever and every day.” The pair announced their split in October 2011, due to Moore’s continued extramarital relationship.
The Ceremony | George Jones & Tammy Wynette
Married in 1969, the couple were known as Mr. & Mrs. Country Music. But their union was a tumultuous one. George Jones was already well on his way down a rocky road of amphetamines and alcoholism. Their second single together was 1972’s The Ceremony, recorded two years after the birth of their only child — Tamala Georgette. Yep. That’s correct. The Ceremony mimics a church wedding, even though the couple were married in a civil union. During their time together, Tammy Wynette claims Jones went back to drinking and was violent. They still performed it together many times, even after their 1975 divorce, and according to Jones, it was always “a show-stopper.”
Something | The Beatles
Layla | Derek & The Dominoes
Definitely awkward, these songs. They were both written for Pattie Boyd, when she was still married to George Harrison. Something, arguably Harrison’s best-known song, was released by The Beatles on Abbey Road in 1969. A year later, his best friend Eric Clapton penned Layla for her (its gorgeous piano code credited to Jim Gordon, though it should have been credited to Rita Coolidge). Boyd eventually left Harrison in 1977 and married Clapton. Harrison was supportive, and even attended the ceremony.
Love Will Keep Us Together | Captain & Tennille
Daryl Dragon and Toni Tennille got together after a spell in The Beach Boys’ backing band. This was their first single together, released in April 1975. They were married on Remembrance Day of that year. But it was music, not love that kept them together. In her memoir, Tennille says Dragon was not an affectionate man and that they slept in separate bedrooms for much of their 39-year marriage. She filed for divorce in 2014, something Dragon had no clue about until he was served the papers.
A Fool In Love | Ike & Tina Turner
Tina Turner (born Anna Mae Bullock) worked with Ike Turner in a platonic relationship for four years, until they finally hooked up in 1960. That year they recorded the Ike-penned A Fool In Love while Tina was pregnant. It was the first song to feature her under the name Tina Turner. After the session, she told him she wanted out of the relationship and was struck by Ike with a wooden shoe stretcher. Afraid, she stayed with him through the mid-’70s when his cocaine addiction became unbearable. The violence continued until July 1, 1976. After a particularly bloody fight on the way to the Dallas Hilton, she fled and crossed the freeway to the Ramada Inn with 36¢ and a credit card. She filed for divorce by the end of the month. Tina performed A Fool In Love once after that — on May 1, 1980 — and not again until 20 years later.
Love Will Remember | Selena Gomez
The singer/actress reportedly wrote this song for Justin Bieber, her boyfriend at the time. Or maybe they were on a break. Or maybe they were back together. Anyway, that was back in 2013. She hasn’t really performed it at all since.
Just The Way You Are | Billy Joel
Billy Joel claims the melody for this double Grammy-winning song came to him in a dream. It was written for his then-wife Elizabeth Weber. It turns out he may not have preferred her they way she was, as they divorced in 1982 and Billy hooked up with Elle Macpherson, followed by Christie Brinkley, for whom he wrote Uptown Girl. Joel and Brinkley married in 1985, divorced in 1994, but apparently remain friends — she attended his 2004 wedding to Katie Lee (32 years his junior), and he’s the godfather to Brinkley’s two youngest kids.
Annie’s Song | John Denver
John Denver only needed a short ride on a ski lift to write this song, which he said he’d completed by the time he got to the top of Aspen Mountain. It was written for his wife Anne Martell. But his rise to fame and the demands on his time were too much for the young couple. They were married in 1967 when Dever was 23 and she was 21. When they divorced in 1982, Denver symbolically cut their bed in half with a chainsaw to make a point about the division of assets. “You fill up my senses, like the buzz of a chainsaw / Like the foam and the box spring, like Leatherface in the rain.”
And I Love Her | The Beatles
Paul McCartney wrote a bunch of songs about girlfriend Jane Asher, but only one of them was entirely pleasant — And I Love Her. The others — You Won’t See Me, We Can Work It Out, I’m Looking Through You and For No One — speak to their often troubled relationship. Macca and Asher got engaged on Christmas Day, 1967. They still hadn’t tied the knot when she accompanied The Beatles to India in 1968, and later that year came home to find Paul in bed with fan Francie Schwartz. And I Love Her was one Beatles song Paul held off on performing solo. He didn’t do it live until 1991.
Let’s Put Our Hearts Together | The Beach Boys
Brian Wilson was married to Marilyn Rovell from 1964 to 1979. She was likely the inspiration for many of his famous songs, and a few of his not-so-famous ones. While the troubled, mentally ill Wilson was under the care of Dr. Eugene Landy, he wrote and recorded Marilyn Rovell in 1976, which has never been released. That year he also recorded the bulk of The Beach Boys Love You, which is predominantly a Brian solo album. Buried in the middle of the second side is Let’s Put Our Hearts Together, which is a duet with Marilyn (Rovell) Wilson. Ever the romantic, Wilson says he got her to sing on it because he inadvertently wrote the song outside his vocal range. They divorced in 1979.
One-Eyed Fiona | Lyle Lovett
Lyle Lovett was briefly married to Julia Roberts for two years in the mid-’90s. Her middle name is Fiona and she is blind in one eye. It’s unlikely the seemingly insensitive song had any bearing on the divorce, as the pair reportedly remain good friends.
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Area Resident is an Ottawa-based journalist, recording artist, music collector and re-seller. Hear (and buy) his music on Bandcamp, email him HERE, follow him on Instagram and check him out on Discogs.
