Home Read Steve Schmolaris’s Album Review: Shit Missile | Shit Missle

Steve Schmolaris’s Album Review: Shit Missile | Shit Missle

It wasn't as easy as they had at first imagined.

Partially inspired by Royal Canoe’s Glacial, in which the band performed with instruments made of ice, Shit Missile, not to be outdone, contacted Norwegian merde master Looca – aka KakaRaunchoni to do something similar. Yes, Shit Missile would record their self-titled album on instruments made out of frozen feces.

The idea came to them when they heard about the mythical shit knife, based on an account in Wade Davis’s Shadows in the Sun, in which an Inuit man fashioned a blade from his own defecations in order to kill a dog.

“What a wild story!” exclaimed Shit Missile. “We should do the same thing!” To which all band members agreed.

But it wasn’t as easy as they had at first imagined. To begin with, they had underestimated the sheer volume of shit needed. They pooled their poos together and came up wanting.

“If only we were fat Americans,” they sighed – which is to say ‘if only they were Americans’. And they were neither fat nor American.

“What about Sean and all that social working he does?” said their bassist, while they practised Hellbound. “He meets people all the time – can’t he collect their shit?” But, alas, there were “rules” and “guidelines” and “procedures” that took precedence, so they had to look elsewhere.

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To read the rest of this review — and more by Steve Schmolaris — visit his website Bad Gardening Advice.

 

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Steve Schmolaris is the founder of the Schmolaris Prize, “the most prestigious prize in all of Manitoba,” which he first awarded in 1977. Each year, he awards the prize to the best album of the year. He does not have a profession but, having come from money (his father, “the Millionaire of East Schmelkirk,” left him his fortune when he died in 1977), Steve is a patron of the arts. Inspired by the exquisite detail of a holotype, the collective intelligence of slime mold, the natural world and the suffering inherent within it — and also music (fuck, he loves music!) — Steve has long been writing reviews of Winnipeg artists’ songs and albums at his website Bad Gardening Advice, leading to the publication of a book of the same name.