When it comes to rockin’ royalty, the men way outnumber the women. Not only that, but many of the women are actually men.
At first I was a little surprised, but maybe I shouldn’t have been. Male monopolies on things are pretty pervasive in society, just maybe not with me. When I was becoming a working adult around 30 years ago, I was surprised to find out about pay disparities between sexes, fewer opportunities for women and an across-the-board preference for male athletes, politicians, etc. For me, women have always occupied the dominant roles in my life. For starters, both my kids are female — but every one of my teachers was a woman until Grade 7. When it comes to my bosses (editors and producers) the woman-to-man ratio is around five to one.
There’s almost always women involved with my music, the artwork for which is either done or designed by a woman. And every theatre production I’ve ever been in has always been directed by a woman.
But, if you go to Spotify, Apple Music, Discogs or whatever and search for “king” or “prince” and then for “queen” or “princess” — you’ll notice a huge difference. There are hundreds and hundreds of the traditionally male royal and perhaps just dozens of the traditionally female variant. In fact, of the four well-known “queens” I found, three are not female at all — the bands Queen (of course), Queens of the Stone Age and Queensrÿche. I suppose you could include Beyonce among your list of queens, but the one true queen seems to me to be Queen Latifah.
The number of princesses out there — at least ones I’m familiar with — is negligible, at best. There’s a handful of well-known princes, though: Prince (Prince Rogers Nelson), obviously, but also Will “Fresh Prince” Smith and Bonnie “Prince” Billy (Will Oldham).
So, let’s examine some of the prominent kings out there, excluding the ones who have the moniker as their natural surname, like B.B. King, Carole King, Freddie King and Albert King.
We’ll start with the best pop-rock double A-side one-hit wonder of the ’80s — The Kings, known for their hit This Beat Goes On/Switchin’ To Glide. I’ve always had a particular fondness for the second song because when I was a kid, one of my older brothers put it on a mixtape along with Ramrod by Bruce Springsteen, Ah Leah by Donnie Iris, I Like To Rock by April Wine, China Grove by The Doobie Brothers, Bastard by Ian Hunter, You Got Another Thing Comin‘ by Judas Priest, Coming Up by Paul McCartney, Goody Two Shoes by Adam Ant, Winning by Santana, Innocence by Harlequin, Talk To Ya Later by The Tubes and Paper Late by Genesis. Crazy how I remember that cassette. Switchin’ To Glide is awesome:
The Oakville band were at Nimbus 9 studio in Toronto in 1980, after saving and pooling enough money to cut a record themselves. It just so happened that Bob Ezrin was in town after finishing work on Pink Floyd’s The Wall and dropped by the soundstage studio to see what was going on at his old haunt. This is where he had recorded Alice Cooper, after all. He took a shine to The Kings and offered to mix their single. He also helped with their debut album The Kings Are Here — and got them signed to Elektra. The record went gold in Canada, so Ezrin signed on to do the followup. It bombed, and the band has been gigging in the shadows ever since.
Next, we’ll include an astonishingly brilliant band with an astonishingly awful name — King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard. The Australian prog rock / metal / jazz / space rock / jam band / psychedelic rock / garage rock outfit has been around for nearly 15 years now, creating more than 25 unique albums and countless live albums. I believe it’s safe to say most of their material comes from jam sessions — not only in various genres from album-to-album, but also boasting unusual tunings and time signatures. Some of their stuff is pretty unpalatable to me, but there’s about a half-dozen records I’m quite fond of — particularly 2021’s Butterfly and 2022’s Changes.
Another band I love, which put out a few records I don’t like all that much, is King Crimson. The British prog rock band was active off and on from the late ’60s until 2021. Almost as difficult to describe as King Gizzard, the Robert Fripp-led King Crimson have had at least four different lead vocalists, made heavy albums, psychedelic albums — with equal parts, blues, rock, folk, jazz and classical overtones. They also made full-on industrial music and had three brilliant new wave prog albums. My favourite remains 1974’s Red:
Ah, here’s a band with a track I love, but not much else. Kings Of Leon showed up at the dawn of the millennium to put a fresh spin on the “family band.” The Nashville quartet is made up of three brothers and their cousin. I think I first saw them on late-night talk TV — probably Conan — and they were great initially. But, by the fourth album they sounded like every other act on “alternative” radio. That Sex On Fire song is bullshit. But this one, from their debut Youth and Young Manhood, is all kinds of awesome:
Nathaniel Adams Coles was only 45 when he died of lung cancer, the day after Valentine’s Day in 1965. But, Nat “King” Cole’s final Valentine to his family was that — against doctor’s orders — he worked right up to the end in an effort to ensure their financial welfare. He recorded his final album L-O-V-E in two sessions on Dec. 1 and 3, 1964. He went into hospital for treatment on the 10th. He had one of his lungs removed in late January. Then his father died Feb. 1. On Feb. 14 he left the hospital to go for a drive along the coast with his wife. He died in hospital before sunrise.
Jazz, rock and R&B sax player Curtis Ousley was known as King Curtis. You need only read about the man’s funeral to get a sense of just how adored he was. Both Aretha Franklin and Stevie Wonder performed. Curtis died tragically when he was stabbed to death on the front step of his home by a man he was trying to shoo away. He spotted Juan Montanez loitering while he was headed to the fuse panel in an effort to get his air conditioner working. He died in hospital the next morning, on Aug. 13, 1971. He was actually born Curtis Montgomery, but he and his sister had their last names changed when they were both adopted as children. A schoolmate of Ornette Coleman, Curtis was a child prodigy and passed up scholarships to go on the road with Lionel Hampton. He later moved to New York City and became a popular session player — performing with Cannonball Adderley, Buddy Holly and Waylon Jennings. Perhaps his most well-known sax performance is on Yakety Yak by The Coasters.
Like Nat “King” Cole, Osbourne Ruddock — aka King Tubby — also died young. The pioneering Jamaican producer and engineer was one of the originators of dub music. Whenever you hear about prominent mixing engineers and producers — ones whose fame is on par with artists — it can be traced back to either George Martin or King Tubby. They elevated the role. Tubby was a young TV and radio repairman who used his Kingston shop to build special, powerful amplifiers and sound systems and even briefly ran a pirate radio station. He found fame in the 1970s mixing, remixing and recording artists like Lee “Scratch” Perry. The instrumental track King Tubby Meets Rockers Uptown, which features Augustus Pablo on melodica, is considered legendary. He was shot in a robbery in 1989 at the age of 48.
Vinyl by Montreal rock / doo-wop / soul duo King Khan & BBQ Show fetch a pretty penny on Discogs. I tried to get a copy of the self-titled album from 2005. There were a handful available, starting at $150. I suppose the “King” part of the name specifically corresponds to Arish Ahmad Khan — the lead guitarist and vocalist of the duo. The other half is Mark Sultan (aka Blacksnake) who provides drums, guitar, percussion and vocals. There is also King Khan & The Shrines, which is a nine-member psychedelic soul band. But King Khan also has albums under his own “name,” and was a member of Montreal’s Spaceshits, Almighty Defenders and Louder Than Death. For me, nothing tops King Khan & The Shrines:
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Area Resident is an Ottawa-based journalist, recording artist, music collector and re-seller. Hear (and buy) his music on Bandcamp, email him HERE, follow him on Instagram and check him out on Discogs.
