I‘m not sure how great a band they are — they for sure have at least one awesome song — but there’s no question Fartbarf is the worst band name I’ve ever heard. It’s really troubling. They even have a cool identity — three dudes in Neanderthal masks, in space suits or lab coats, playing analog synths with an amazing live drummer and singing indecipherably through a vocoder and heavy effects. Check them out above.
But the name is a real problem. It’s not cool, funny or commonplace enough to be ironic. It’s just an impediment. Maybe that’s what they want. Must be, but it’s stupid.
There’s loads of bands I don’t like with terrible names. Makes sense, I guess — ones like Toad The Wet Sprocket, Hoobastank, Collective Soul, Barenaked Ladies and all bands with First Name Last Name Band.
But bands I actually like with stupid names is the topic here. And these are totally subjective. I’ll try to explain why they sit poorly with me — usually because of my ADHD mental word-association.
I first noticed Metallica when Master Of Puppets came out. It just sounded dumb. There are some exceptions — Funkadelic, Blues Explosion — but maybe don’t name your band after the style of music you play.
There are heaps of bands in the Ministry universe and most seem to have throwaway names — Lard, Revolting Cocks, Surgical Meth Machine, Acid Horse — but none is worse than 1000 Homo DJs, even though they do a great cover of Black Sabbath’s Supernaut.
The Steve Albini/Jesus Lizard (also a bad name) side project Rapeman may have had an even worse name than Fartbarf.
Philly’s G. Love and Special Sauce have a stupid name. First of all, it looks like Glove, and “special sauce” is just a generic, dumb fast-food joke. They are a better band than their name, which is kind of what this rant is all about.
Super Furry Animals was bad even before Furries became a thing. It just sounds too cute. I hate it.
In the ’60s and early ’70s, bands liked to juxtaposition the two halves of their names: Led Zeppelin, Iron Butterfly, Atomic Rooster, but The Electric Prunes is just stupid. They’re old plums. Seniors eat them to stay regular. It’s a really bad name.
Perry Farrell’s post-Jane’s Addiction band was the idiotically named Porno For Pyros. What even is that? Gasoline? Candles? Pyrographic would have been better.
Here’s a close one: Death Cab For Cutie. The cutie part is lame.
I don’t love the name London Grammar, either. Maybe I just don’t get it.
Shannon and the Clams is an excellent band that sounds like it should be at a children’s festival. Same goes for Dr. Dog and Martha & the Muffins.
Madlib just reminds me of the board game of the same name.
The War On Drugs picked a name that was about 20 years beyond its ironic relevance.
The Beach Boys was only an appropriate name for a few years. They were never surfers, and sure didn’t look much like boys after 1966.
World Party sounds like some sort of youth fellowship event.
Ernie Evans isn’t a great name, but it’s better than Chubby Checker. Evans’ produce shop boss called him Chubby and Dick Clark’s wife suggested Checker, playing off Fats Domino.
I recently acquired an album by Gentleman Reg. I suppose that’s meant to be awkward, but I don’t think it’s obvious enough. Incredible artist, though.
Bob Segarini’s band The Wackers knew damn well what they were doing when they chose that name. Sadly, I’m sure the juvenile double-entendre name cost them the attention they deserved.
Band names matter, people. Save your silly buggers for the album titles.
BONUS: Amazing band names include Small Faces, Guided By Voices, Slade, Pink Floyd, Sex Pistols, Mudhoney, Romeo Void, DEVO, King Crimson, Black Sabbath, Ramones, The Who, Soft Machine, Deep Purple, Public Enemy, Hilotrons, Pretenders, GTOs, Mothers Of Invention, Kraftwerk, Minutemen, Expanda Fuzz, Dirty Projectors, Rough Trade, The Rolling Stones, Canned Heat, Motorhead, Portishead, Young Galaxy, Roxy Music, Velvet Underground, Wu-Tang Clan, The Doors, Punchbuggy, Melvins, Husker Du, Stereolab, Stooges, Junip, Roots Manuva, Wire, Television, Parquet Courts, Talking Heads, Dukes Of Stratosphear and Klaatu.
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Area Resident is an Ottawa-based journalist, recording artist, music collector and re-seller. Hear (and buy) his music on Bandcamp, email him HERE, follow him on Instagram and check him out on Discogs.
