This came out in 2002 – or at least that’s when I got it. Here’s what I said about it back then (with some minor editing):
Some people just don’t want to accept who they really are. Jon Bon Jovi, for instance.
As anyone familiar with the New Jersey rocker already knows, he’s just Bryan Adams with poofier hair and better skin. Nothing wrong with that. But that’s not good enough for him. Now that he’s 40, he wants to be somebody more mature. Somebody more meaningful. Somebody who gets some respect. Somebody like, oh, Bruce Springsteen. So, on his misguided new CD Bounce, he cribs several pages from Bruce’s book, wraps them in the flag of post-9/11 patriotism, and makes his play for rock credibility.
The changes are obvious from the git-go. “That was my brother lost in the rubble / That was my sister lost in the crush,” growls Jonny Boy on the opening seconds of Undivided, the album’s leadoff cut. “I found spirit, they couldn’t ruin it / I found courage in the smoke and dust.” This is, admittedly, pretty strong stuff coming from the guy who made Slippery When Wet. Even Bruce couldn’t have put it much better. Only Bruce probably wouldn’t have taken lyrics mourning the World Trade Centre victims and set them to a fist-pumping arena-rock beat and a headbanging guitar riff. The effect is not only jarring, but vaguely tasteless — apparently Bon Jovi thinks if he stops rocking, the terrorists have won.
Sadly, that’s only Bounce’s first misstep. Plenty of songs catch him in similarly ridiculous poses. Joey is one of those Jersey-shore street-rat tunes he thinks he can write as well as Springsteen, but can’t. He comes closer on Right Side of Wrong, but only because it’s basically a poor man’s rewrite of Bruce’s Meeting Across the River. (Springsteen: “Stuff this in your pocket / It’ll look like you’re carrying a friend.” Bon Jovi: “Slip these sweat socks in your shirt and pray they think you’re packing.”) Perhaps the most laughable cut, though, is Love Me Back To Life, another post-9/11 track that outlines Jon’s strategy for battling terrorists by, um, doin’ it. “Take me, touch me, hold me like you mean it,” he whines like a soldier trying to get some off his gal the night before battle. “Rescue me tonight / Love me back to life.” ’Cause if we don’t do the wild thang … well, you know.
Of course, like the overgrown teen he is, Bon Jovi’s sensitivity is only a ruse to get the girls out of their panties. After that, he — along with much of Bounce — reverts back to type. You get arena-sized riff rockers like Hook Me Up and Everyday, usually with Frampton-style talk box guitar. (Yawn.) You get poppier love songs like Misunderstood. (Double yawn.) You get some KISS-style Bic Lighter ballads like All About Lovin’ You. (Retch.) You get lots of strings. (Because you need Serious Instruments to make Serious Music.) And of course, you get some jibber-jabber about cowboys. (What the hell is up with that, anyway?) In short, you get a bit of everything Bon Jovi usually does. Which should satisfy the housewives and hair-metal holdouts that are his fans. And you get some of his pretentious new material, which should satisfy him, if no one else. The irony is, you don’t get any of the glam-rock and more experimental fare that made his 2000 album Crush far more intriguing and satisfying than this disc.
Ultimately, I doubt Jon is fooling anybody with his Springsteenish aspirations. If you wanna see the difference between him and Bruce — and between Bounce and The Rising — just look at their titles. Springsteen chose a term that connotes rebirth, redemption, spiritual ascent. Bon Jovi picked a word most often used to describe … his hair. Hey, maybe he actually is in touch with who he is after all.
