Home Read Classic Album Review: Victoria Beckham | Victoria Beckham

Classic Album Review: Victoria Beckham | Victoria Beckham

Posh's LP could be used to deprogram Spice Girls fans who won’t give up the ghost.

415

This came out in 2002 – or at least that’s when I got it. Here’s what I said about it back then (with some minor editing):

 


Honestly, does anybody even care anymore about an album by a Spice Girl — especially one by Victoria (Posh Spice) Beckham, a singer whose vocal range and delivery make Britney Spears seem like Maria Callas? And whose songwriting skills make Ginger seem like a genius?

For those who still haven’t escaped from Spiceworld, here’s the tale of the tape: Victoria Beckham (the album) has a dozen songs. Almost all of the them are either sterile midtempo elctro-pop ditties or sweepy-swirly ballads scraped together from Madonna and Cher’s leftovers. Almost all of them sound exactly alike — and all of them are totally unlistenable. In fact, this album could be used to deprogram Spice Girls fans who still won’t give up the ghost. Alternately, it can be used to clear out a party at the end of the night or convince squirrels to move out of your attic. Ultimately, the only purpose it serves is to make us understand why Beckham waited so long to put out a record. Too bad she didn’t wait 50 years longer.