If pop music could fuel your car, power your electronics and heat your home, the world’s energy worries would be over tomorrow. Because near as I can tell, there is a constant, endless and ever-renewable source of pop singers, songwriters and singles in this world — they show up one day, burn brightly for their allotted 15 minutes and then make way for the next batch.
As expected, the latest crop arrived on Monday, just in time to fill the Late-Night TV Music calendar. The best of the bunch, perhaps unsurprisingly, came from the most familiar face in the lineup: Destiny’s Child member Kelly Rowland, who showcased her darkly throbbing electronica / classical crossover cut Flowers on The Late Late Show With James Corden. Why she chose to do it in what appears to be the middle of a park in broad daylight while wearing a dress that looks like she just escaped from an explosion at the poultry plant is her business.
Also making unique stylistic choices: The very pregnant Natti Natasha and Becky G, who performed their number Ram Pam Pam for The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon. Bonus points for the infectious grooves and hip-swivelling energy; deductions for making it clear you’re not even trying to come up with a real title for your song. Still, they beat the instantly forgettable Alaina Castillo, presenting the generic STFU (I Got You) on Late Night with Seth Meyers. With a song title like that, do I even need to try to make a joke? I think not.
Which brings us to someboday named Chase Rice, who probably thinks he’s a country singer but is really just another popster in cheaper, crappier clothes. Should you want to hear a song called Drinkin’ Beer. Talkin’ God. Amen, well, he sang it for Jimmy Kimmel Live. Me, I have better things to do. And with that, there’s only one thing left to say: On to the next batch.