In 1980, I bought The Plasmatics’ first album New Hope For the Wretched. It was an import on the Stiff America label. I know this for a fact because I still own it — and I still maintain it was the best album they ever made. I know this for a fact because I still own all the rest of the Plasmatics albums (and all Wendy O. Williams’ solo albums too). Anyhoo, inside the album sleeve I came upon the ad card below, hyping the band’s fan club, The Plasmatics Secret Service. As if the album weren’t already incredible enough, the advertising copy is practically worth the price of admission by itself: ‘Are you a paranoid vegetable or do you have the guts to take aggressive action?’ Awesome. Did I shell out the princely sum of $10 for a membership? You bet your blue Mohawk I did. I still have the little pin somewhere, along with an 8″x10″ band photo that’s framed and up on the wall (even though it was not signed as promised). I think the membership card and at least one of the newsletters might even be around here somewheres. If I find them, I’ll let you know. But most importantly, I also have this “exclusive giant” black-and-white poster of Wendy, which also spent many years on my bedroom wall. It was one of two WOW posters I used to own; I wrote about the other one and my eternal devotion to all things Plasmatics HERE. Sadly, that colour poster has been sold. But this one is still available; if you’re interested, email me and we can work out something. (My lousy photography doesn’t do it justice; it’s still in pretty damn fine shape, you ask me. You can see a better picture on the band’s website, where they used to sell for somewhere between $50 and $100 — when they were available.) As for my original copy of New Hope For the Wretched, well, I’ll probably hang on to that for time being. Though I might frame that fan club insert; I know just where to hang it.