THE EDITED PRESS RELEASE: “We’re waddling our big asses back down into UHQ from the after-church luncheon. We handled all the dishes and then got into a deep theological debate with Brother Geoff. We’re stuffed full of salisbury steak, bacon greenbeans, mash’m taters and rhubarb pie. Time to toss on Ulyssa’s latest addition to our glorious <1000 series: Of Biblical Proportions.
The vapid trad caths of Dimes Square could never. This is courage of conviction. This is personal sacrifice. We live in an era of kings. But not the kind we need. 100 years of unprecedented innovation, for what? A profound spiritual emptiness? The first era of humanity ever to attempt a life outside of God. It’s created a black hole of the spirit and it’s coming to an end. Every void must be filled. Sure, we’re full of Grammy’s rolls, but we’re here to fill up even more. This compilation is spiritual custard for your vacant God hole. There is no place to hide down here.
Don’t get it twisted. The Bible is not nearly finished. In terms of deep time, 2,000 years ain’t shit. The Bible is a living, fluid document. And maybe its next couple chapters are being written right now in song by the artists — nay, apostles! — found by Ulyssa in the dregs of digital streaming services. Once again, we’re here on behalf of a Higher Power to save your little butts from the algorithm’s demonic banality. Walking alongside God doesn’t require faith — trying to get anywhere good without God does. This train is bound for your glory hole. Agape.”
