If Canada is to be beset with tariffs on March 4, we’re probably going to see this sudden uptick in Canadian patriotism get even more intense. Perhaps you’ll need some light anti-Americanism to occupy yourself with in this new state of mind.
I’m here to help, with a bunch of silly Top-10 lists, numbered but in no particular order.
Canadian Anti-American Songs
1 | American Woman | The Guess Who
2 | Southern Man | Neil Young
3 | Black Day In July | Gordon Lightfoot
4 | Ohio | Neil Young
5 | I Pity The Country | Willie Dunn
6 | Frost In Florida | Bob Wiseman
7 | American Wife | Art Bergmann
8 | A Farewell To Kings | Rush
9 | Fucked Up Donald | D.O.A.
10 | Defector | Black Mountain
Albums By Americans, Recorded in Canada
1 | Slippery When Wet | Bon Jovi
2 | Yours Truly | Ariana Grande
3 | Balance | Van Halen
4 | Dr. Feelgood | Mötley Crüe
5 | Use Your Illusion | Guns N’ Roses
6 | Permanent Vacation | Aerosmith
7 | Musicology | Prince
8 | The Life of Pablo | Kanye West
9 | Reveal | R.E.M.
10 | Chicago XIII | Chicago
American Musicians Behind Bars
1 | R. Kelly | Racketeering & sex trafficking
2 | Roy Estrada (Mothers of Invention, Little Feat) | Child sex assault
3 | Pete McNeal (Cake, Ghostface Killa) | Child sex assault
4 | Kidd Kreole (Grandmaster Flash & the Furious Five) | Manslaughter
5 | Suge Knight | Manslaughter
6 | C-Murder (rapper) | Second-degree murder
7 | Austin Jones (YouTube emo singer) | Sexual exploitation
8 | Bobby Beausoleil (The Grass Roots) | Murder
9 | Big Lurch (Cosmic Slop Shop) | Murder and cannibalism
10 | Diddy | Alleged sex trafficking, racketeering and transportation to engage in prostitution
Truly Awful Songs by American Artists
1 | We Built This City | Starship
2 | Achy Breaky Heart | Billy Ray Cyrus
3 | Party All The Time | Eddie Murphy
4 | Kokomo | The Beach Boys
5 | You’re The Inspiration | Chicago
6 | I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That) | Meat Loaf
7 | Hangin’ Tough | New Kids On The Block
8 | In The Ghetto | Elvis Presley
9 | It’s A Small World | Walt Disney (Sherman Brothers)
10 | We Are The World | USA For Africa
Flop Albums by American Stars
1 | Metal Machine Music | Lou Reed
2 | Passage | The Carpenters
3 | Van Halen III | Van Halen
4 | The Life of Chris Gaines | Garth Brooks
5 | American Life | Madonna
6 | Chinese Democracy | Guns N’ Roses
7 | Glitter | Mariah Carey
8 | Lulu | Metallica & Lou Reed
9 | Summer In Paradise | The Beach Boys
10 | Face The Music | New Kids On The Block
American Musicians Who Were Fired By Their Bands
1 | Lindsey Buckingham | Fleetwood Mac
2 | Sammy Hagar | Van Halen
3 | Vince Neil | Mötley Crüe
4 | Dennis DeYoung | Styx
5 | Peter Criss | KISS
6 | Don Felder | Eagles
7 | D’arcy Wretzky | Smashing Pumpkins
8 | Kate Schellenbach | Beastie Boys
9 | Scott Weiland | Stone Temple Pilots
10 | Dave Mustaine | Metallica
American songs That Mention Canadian Places
1 | Vancouver | Violent Femmes
2 | Calgary | Bon Iver
3 | Montreal | of Montreal
4 | Expo ’86 | Death Cab For Cutie
5 | Lucky Man | Bruce Springsteen
6 | Ontario | The Posies
7 | Canadian Rose | Blues Traveller
8 | Chicago | Soul Coughing
9 | You’re So Vain | Carly Simon
10 | She’s A Rebel | Green Day
• • •
Area Resident is an Ottawa-based journalist, recording artist, music collector and re-seller. Hear (and buy) his music on Bandcamp, email him HERE, follow him on Instagram and check him out on Discogs.
