Home Read Steve Schmolaris’s Album Review: Kyle | Transcontinental Tour

Steve Schmolaris’s Album Review: Kyle | Transcontinental Tour

As the furnace began to blow hot air, Greg's words were buried in the noise.

Kyle Esselmont sat in a poorly heated meeting room, bare but for the boxes piled into the corners; what they contained, he didn’t know. They’d always just been there, and now, in his mind, they were fixtures of the place. He could hardly imagine what it’d look like without them. Nor did he know who put them there; likely some long ago retired hoarder, some company historian who couldn’t part with old photos of office Christmas parties, of typewriter-typed correspondence, of letters or memos or reports on issues no longer important or relevant.

He sat at a table, in a swivel chair, shifting right to left, waiting for the others to arrive. The heat would kick in eventually, he knew, and then the room would be too hot. The temperature fluctuates wildly, and his co-workers passionately and constantly complain about it. For his part, Kyle has come to terms with it, he embraces it, subjects himself to the whims of the building, its fluxes, its idiosyncrasies. He accepts it. Not all do. Let the past remain the past. Not all do. Let us look to the future. Not all do.

Greg arrives, and shortly after so do the others: Shannon, Emily, Margaret, Genevieve.

Until Kyle joined the Social Committee, Greg had been the only man involved, and he liked to remind people of that fact. Women were expected to be social, not men. Men, so it was said, had real jobs, important jobs, jobs that required a focused attention, jobs that couldn’t spare a moment to manage the coffee fund, or plan birthday parties, or annual general meetings, or coordinate the signing of sympathy cards. But Greg did all those things. And he liked doing all of those things.

Kyle didn’t mind joining. When asked, he said, Sure, he’d join the office Social Committee, why not. What else had he to do?

Greg was also the Social Committee treasurer, and it was a duty he relished. The Committee’s finances were what the meeting was about.

“Item 1,” said Greg “is the treasury. It’s unsustainable. All we have left is coins. About $50 worth. That’s after buying the new microwave. And that has to last us the rest of the year.”

He let that sink in. Then continued: “And unfortunately it’s our fault. Not everybody has paid their share, and yet we – generous folk we are – allow those that haven’t paid to take part in Social Committee activities. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t sit well with me. And, let me tell you, it’s not just me who’s noticed. Susan’s brought it up, too, about David. And there have been others. My point is that is has to be fair, it has to be egalitarian – we all have to do our part if the Social Committee is going to be a success.”

Greg had given this speech before, and as the furnace began to blow hot air, Greg’s words were buried in the noise.

Of course, it was true what Greg was saying. David still hasn’t paid his annual Social Committee dues, hasn’t for years, in fact, and yet he still takes part in all of the Committee’s events, the last of which was the office pizza party. Then there was Halloween – no costume, and yet his name was picked out of the hat as the prize winner.

To be honest, Kyle didn’t mind. Who cares if David doesn’t pay – he’s loud, he makes conversation, he tells slightly off-colour jokes, and everyone loves it. In Kyle’s mind, that deserves free pizza. Is Greg going to pull that weight? Kyle didn’t think so.

Everyone has their skills, their abilities – everyone’s different. The trick is how to use those abilities effectively. Greg, well, Greg’s a numbers guy. And David is a gossip; a great skill to have, in Kyle’s mind.

Margaret talked about implementing some kind of wrist-band system, to ensure that only those who contribute are able to participate. It got a muted reception.

•         •         •

To read the rest of this review — and more by Steve Schmolaris — visit his website Bad Gardening Advice.

•         •         •

Steve Schmolaris is the founder of the Schmolaris Prize, “the most prestigious prize in all of Manitoba,” which he first awarded in 1977. Each year, he awards the prize to the best album of the year. He does not have a profession but, having come from money (his father, “the Millionaire of East Schmelkirk,” left him his fortune when he died in 1977), Steve is a patron of the arts. Inspired by the exquisite detail of a holotype, the collective intelligence of slime mold, the natural world and the suffering inherent within it — and also music (fuck, he loves music!) — Steve has long been writing reviews of Winnipeg artists’ songs and albums at his website Bad Gardening Advice, leading to the publication of a book of the same name.